06/25/08: A long catch-up story

Yeeks, it's been a long time since I posted anything. The weeks and months go by... I'll try to give an update of the past couple of months. Maybe you can read it in installments?

Fumiko got a part-time job starting mid-April, working with a 27-year-old mildly retarded (but horribly spoiled) woman, trying to train her in handling her money, eating well, doing laundry, etc. This job has been challenging, but also very frustrating for Fumiko, as the woman is quite resistant to suggestion, persuasion, and threats. Her parents can do nothing with her, apparently, as she is quite undisciplined and won't listen to anyone. But, it's some income, and hopefully a good Canadian reference. Fumiko also continues to do some volunteer work and apply for full-time jobs. She is revising her resume for the nth time -- everyone who kindly reviews it for her has a different (and usually conflicting) set of suggestions, but none of them has the power to hire her!

I'm now once again in an obsessive apartment search. Our hold on this apartment ends when the "real" tenants return on September 1, and we're thinking to give up the New York apartment, get an unfurnished one here, and move everything north. This is very stressful to even think about, and our list of wants for a "permanent" apartment is long, our funds are limited, and we want to get as good a one as possible. To gear up for this, I started in May to look at a lot of different possibilities -- far from transit but large, close to transit but far from shopping (yes, such exist), close to transit and shopping but small and dark, etc. I've even been going out with a realtor to look at condos for sale. Many people in Toronto own property, so it seems normal and, with the stock market bouncing about like it's been doing, perhaps an attractive investment. It's fun to see many different places, but very time-consuming, and I haven't found anything that I really love. Will something fall from the sky, like this one did, or will we be down to the wire, having to settle on a third-best option?

We continue to enjoy High Park, taking a jog or a hike several times a week. There are lots of birds -- a fascinating one that's all black except for bright scarlet spots on the wings that are visible only in flight; I think this is called a red-winged blackbird. Also robins and pigeons and a few seagulls, as well as a number of smaller birds that we can't identify, and crowds of geese that wander around the lawns and shores as well as gathering in the water. They now have young'uns (goslings?), and they seem totally unafraid of humans. They are sufficiently numerous that their green turds become a nuisance on the park paths. Recently, there have been articles in the newspaper about the blight of the Canada goose, which has overrun many Canadian cities and is even considered a health hazard. Other dangers: Recently dogs have been poisoned in High Park; it's in the papers. And Fumiko is frequently frightened by blackbirds dive-bombing at her!

The weather was not real spring-like in May. It was mostly cold and windy, with occasional rain and we wore short warm coats all month. Now that it's June, we've had a couple of warm, even hot, days, but it rains at least once a day five days out of seven, and we have frequent thunderstorms. Like monsoon season.

In early May, I made a trip to Boston (from New York), attending an academic conference there, visiting my son and his family (who kindly put me up for the weekend), and seeing my mother at her nursing home for the first time since we delivered her there in November. I was nervous about this, but it turned out to be a very nice visit. She looked very alert and healthy. We went out for a walk and she was cheerful and talkative. I really enjoyed seeing her and will try to get there again soon. The nursing home is bright and spacious and she seems to be doing well there, despite her standard complaints that there's not enough to do. My sister visits Mom there regularly and sends photos and stories which help me to feel connected. The problem is that it's pretty difficult to get from Toronto to Boston by bus (14 hours, with a change in Syracuse), and impossible by train (would require an overnight stay in Albany), so the easiest way is to go to New York and then do Boston as a side trip!

On my June trip New York, there was some problem with the train tracks, so the train was three hours late, a total trip of 16 hours! I was so disgusted that I decided to return on the new New York-Toronto express bus from Greyhound. It was not bad, took about 10 hours. At the border, we had to take all our luggage out and walk it through the customs house, where an agent gazed at it briefly and from a distance, and then we put it back again -- a pain. The bus seats are of course not as comfortable as the train, but they did have electrical connections for computers (called "plug-ins" on the website, amusingly) -- the promised Internet access was not working my trip. It made a couple of rest stops so we could stretch. It's a hard choice for me -- comfortable but late, or less comfortable and less time. The track work is expected to continue through October, and the Amtrak conductor claimed it was not under their control since the tracks are owned by the freight shippers. Whatever!

One more transportation story: There was a two-day transit strike in Toronto April 26-27, and I had places to go, so I did what people did in New York -- I hitchhiked! I think I was the only person doing this in Toronto. I made a big sign with my destination magic-markered on it and stood at the nearest intersection looking hopeful. It worked; I got where I was going, and I met some interesting people, but I certainly felt like a foreigner.

So what else have I been doing? I enjoyed the Hot Docs documentary film festival, managing to see six or eight programs, mostly for free, either as a senior or a volunteer. I also saw a couple of films at the "Inside Out" gay film festival. Both Fumiko and I took advantage of the "Doors Open Toronto" event recently; each of us (separately, because of scheduling differences) explored a number of buildings and places around Toronto, but we barely made a dent in the 150 or so being shown. Next year... One problem is that this event is always the same weekend as the annual weekend-long square dance event ("fly-in") held by the Triangle Squares, our local gay square dance club. In fact, there were so many events of all types in Toronto that weekend (May 23-25) that we could have filled our dance cards four or five times and not run out of fun things to do. I have a theory that, after a hard winter of being confined, Toronto just bursts forth at this time of year with all the events that they were afraid would be snowed out (or in) earlier in the year. Just a theory.

One Saturday in April, we went for the day to St. Catherine's, Ontario, for a square dance convention. During the dinner break, a group of us went in two cars to see the Welland Canal, a series of eight locks over the 27 miles that lies between Lake Ontario and Lake Erie that enables ships to bypass the Niagara Falls. Very interesting, though there didn't happen to be any ships going through at the time, which I understand is spectacular to see. Then, last week, we went to the harbour here in Toronto to see several tall ships, and I learned that one in particular came here by water from Erie, Pennsylvania! Apparently all of the Great Lakes are connected, one way or another, for boat/ship traffic. Having lived near an ocean port for the past few decades, I never thought much about lakes before.

On a rainy day in May, we visited the Kensington Market, which it turns out is a neighborhood of small shops that has grown up over a century or so. We ate tacos pastor at a Mexican restaurant, and I managed to buy a pair of blue jeans at a little shop. Now, this doesn't sound like much, but I haven't owned a pair of jeans for at least 10 years. I could never seem to find one that fit me and that seemed like I could tolerate them (stiff, tight, etc.). Anyway, the stars were right and I bought one (for $18) that didn't even need hemming! I wore them the following weekend when I went on a "city hike" with the gay hiking club on a cool and rainy evening, and they were just right! I felt very modern. The hike, incidentally, started at a subway station, wound through an upscale residential neighborhood, and then disappeared into a heavily wooded ravine for about a mile or so, ending up at an old pottery factory, now surrounded by landscaped ponds and gardens. Toronto is amazing that way -- there are many patches of wildness scattered throughout the city. In fact, "ravine view" is often mentioned in apartment ads as a plus.

We considered joining a "Bike Train" trip to Niagara Falls in July with the gay hiking group, but the project of acquiring bikes is just too daunting for now. We'd like to get them eventually, but right now we have nowhere to store them and the apartment search is using up all my research time and energy. Many people ride bikes here, as least in the summer, so it would be nice to have them. Maybe in the fall, if we get settled.

Fumiko has begun baking bread -- in fact, we don't buy bread any more. At one of the square dancing parties, she tasted Irish soda bread baked by one of the members, and since then she's been baking her own healthy variety for our breakfast. She uses whole wheat flour and a number of ground-up seeds and nuts, plus raisins. It's good! Occasionally she makes yeast bread, too, often as little rolls with things inside -- meat paste, baked apple, sweet bean paste, etc. Recently we went downtown to a chef's day, where a number of restaurants set up booths and each served two special dishes for $5 apiece. We enjoyed looking at everything and talking to the cooks, then we bought two each and were quite satisfied. This was part of a festival called Luminato, which goes on for ten days all over the city, a variety of events. I tell you, Toronto bids fair to outdo even New York for festivals -- film festivals, jazz festivals (at least three that I know of), art, dance, ethnic events, etc., etc. Recently, we spent a couple of hours at a two-day, ten-block long dog festival called "Woofstock"! I've got to stop trying to "keep up" with everything, or I might as well never have left New York.

We finally broke down and bought a second cell phone, so now we can talk to each other -- very handy on occasion. We made the mistake of allowing them to ship it by package express (Purolator, here) and of course there's no reception in our building and they took it away again. It took three phone calls and a streetcar trip to a place we never go, to retrieve it. So now we give my phone number to any English speakers (the library, the bank, etc.) so Fumiko won't be afraid to answer her phone.

We had our first visitors last week: my cousin Sharon and husband Stan came to visit Toronto, and we had wine and snacks here in our apartment before we all went out to dinner. It was very nice to welcome them to "our" city and "our" home.

Fumiko's English class is coming to an end for the term. Last week I joined them on a school trip to Centre Island, which has a children's amusement park, and a boardwalk, and was very pleasant, despite the daily thunderstorm. Tomorrow her class will have a party and then summer recess begins. She plans to work on her own to continue to improve her English. This weekend is Gay Pride. They make quite a thing of it here -- there was a special section in the main newspaper last Sunday (not one of those supplied from outside, but written by/for the Toronto Star) and all week there have been features on gay people in the papers and on TV. Then on July 1 is Canada Day, the celebration of the confederation of the provinces in 1867 to create the nation.

Finally, my latest minor peeve: The house numbers on two sides of a street in Toronto are not necessarily coordinated -- the matching numbers (101 and 102, for instance) may be one, two, or even three blocks apart. This just seems crazy to me, but I've learned to first get on the odd or even side of the street and only then start looking at the numbers.

early May 2008

This is High Park in early May, picture by Fumiko.  She was feeling a little homesick about then, and we both greatly enjoyed the cherry blossoms so nearby.  We went several times, watching them grow fuller and then gracefully fade.