After a few days of icy relations (and, on my side, fear that I would have to reorient my entire life), we ironed things out and, soon after, decided to make the leap. We got air tickets for Monday, January 7, 2008. The apartment situation here is unresolved: it seems clear now that I can only sublet at the much higher rent ($2500 or so over my current rent), and that if the subtenant defaults, I myself would be liable for this higher rent until/unless I go to court to have the matter resolved. Expensive. So, I will plan to go back and forth for a while (to establish that I still live here) and possibly get a short-term house-sitter. But, I have to cross the border and "land" before Fumiko can do so, so we'll do that on the 7th.
The apartment is only very slowly getting organized after the influx of stuff from my mom's apartment. We're having a few people for dinner on 12/24, so we have to clean up before then! Fumiko is also under pressure to divide her stuff into "take now" and "take later" piles. Since I'll be coming and going, I can postpone most of those decisions. I'm still agonizing about the inventory list to hand in at the Canadian border. Best opinion says it's no big deal, but I'm having nightmares of being sent back because of some inadequacy there. Also, I'm starting to think about matters Canadian, mainly a bank account and a cell phone.
I had a tooth pulled and five filled, had MRI and x-ray of a troublesome ankle (twisted last April and still weak), and will now start physical therapy for it. The follow-up appointments alone mean that I will need to return a few times to New York.
Thursday, December 20, 2007
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
12/12/07: More trouble
Yesterday, my real estate lawyer finally reported in. He's been exchanging phone messages with the landlord for three weeks, and yesterday the agent called to say that the sublet would not be at my very low rent but at some "official" market-level rent, 3 or 4 times my rate. This is alarming, and probably not legal, but the situation is complicated by various layers of recent rulings and agreements that no one understands completely. I will get our tenants' association lawyer to talk to my lawyer about it. I also got a call from one of our potential subtenants (two roommates had applied) to say that her situation has changed and she is withdrawing. There is a new roommate proposed, but she and the other roommate have never met. Not to mention that our apartment at the moment is in no condition to be viewed!
In the wake of these events (and having just had our celebratory wine), Fumiko and I had a big fight. We've had a rocky time lately, actually, with moments of good feeling and cooperation heavily larded with spiteful and angry exchanges. I'm hoping that this is just the stress of the situation, but we've had these times before. The only time that we didn't was during the years that we lived in Japan. I'm hoping that Canada will be like Japan, not like the U.S. (or Mexico or Guatemala). But if we can't live together peacefully there, I want to be able to come back to my apartment in New York. During this particular fight, Fumiko said that she has given up her situation in Japan and that it's not fair that I should keep mine. I should get rid of a lot of my stuff and give up the apartment, she said. I wonder, if we broke up, would she stay in Canada or go back to Japan? We'll have to talk.
In the wake of these events (and having just had our celebratory wine), Fumiko and I had a big fight. We've had a rocky time lately, actually, with moments of good feeling and cooperation heavily larded with spiteful and angry exchanges. I'm hoping that this is just the stress of the situation, but we've had these times before. The only time that we didn't was during the years that we lived in Japan. I'm hoping that Canada will be like Japan, not like the U.S. (or Mexico or Guatemala). But if we can't live together peacefully there, I want to be able to come back to my apartment in New York. During this particular fight, Fumiko said that she has given up her situation in Japan and that it's not fair that I should keep mine. I should get rid of a lot of my stuff and give up the apartment, she said. I wonder, if we broke up, would she stay in Canada or go back to Japan? We'll have to talk.
12/11/07: Goodbye to Mom's home
For two weeks, we've done not much besides emptying Mom's apartment. Like an archeological site, we peeled off the layers: stuff in daily use, stuff packed away for the past decade or so, stuff left over from even before that. Hard to believe there could be so much in one three-room apartment.
I have this problem about throwing out stuff, so it was harder than it might have been for a normal person (like Fumiko, just to take one example). The pile was slowly reduced, and we went every day to sort, give away, rearrange, and clean up. On almost the last day, I suddenly "saw" the full-length mirror attached to the inside of a closet door, and quickly found a home for that on freecycle. I took down the spice racks, the pencil sharpener, the picture hooks, etc.
On what we thought would be the last day, a high-end charity came with a truck to take away a bunch of things, but they rejected the dining room table, which I had been unable to sell. It was not "resalable," they said. Well, the top surface has a few bad places, but it's a very large, strong table. Seemed really useful to me. Anyway, we extended our effort for another day, hoping to find someone who wanted it for free. Despite a few inquiries, no one could pick it up right now, so I finally caved. The superintendent said we could just leave it there, so on Tuesday afternoon I formally vacated the apartment, abandoning the table.
The process itself was not painful for me, as some have kindly suggested, aside from an attack of nostalgia from time to time. Actually saying goodbye to the apartment brought a few tears, however, as I remembered how happy Mom had been here for 40 years, with its stupendous view from the 34th floor, and how hard I have worked for the past four years to enable her to stay here.
As an experience, emptying the apartment was interesting. It's not like actual moving, where you just decide what remains part of this collection of stuff, and then transport the collection to a new space. Here, the collection as an entity is terminated, and each item has to be dealt with individually (or did, with me...). I wanted to "find a good home" for each thing, and we largely succeeded. Very very little actually got trashed.
Returning home with our last load, we looked back on two weeks of ferrying things from Mom's apartment on the East Side to ours on the West Side. Arriving home each night, we are appalled at the mess we have created. There hasn't been time to unpack the boxes and store away the contents, so our apartment has become a warehouse with narrow aisles threading through. We had a celebratory glass of wine and sighed, putting off until tomorrow the next cleanup project.
I've also been catching up with doctor and dentist appointments, preparatory to diving into the Canadian health care system. Point A, we have a three-month waiting period before we can take advantage of that system; point B, I have good insurance here that can't be transferred, including dental insurance.
I have this problem about throwing out stuff, so it was harder than it might have been for a normal person (like Fumiko, just to take one example). The pile was slowly reduced, and we went every day to sort, give away, rearrange, and clean up. On almost the last day, I suddenly "saw" the full-length mirror attached to the inside of a closet door, and quickly found a home for that on freecycle. I took down the spice racks, the pencil sharpener, the picture hooks, etc.
On what we thought would be the last day, a high-end charity came with a truck to take away a bunch of things, but they rejected the dining room table, which I had been unable to sell. It was not "resalable," they said. Well, the top surface has a few bad places, but it's a very large, strong table. Seemed really useful to me. Anyway, we extended our effort for another day, hoping to find someone who wanted it for free. Despite a few inquiries, no one could pick it up right now, so I finally caved. The superintendent said we could just leave it there, so on Tuesday afternoon I formally vacated the apartment, abandoning the table.
The process itself was not painful for me, as some have kindly suggested, aside from an attack of nostalgia from time to time. Actually saying goodbye to the apartment brought a few tears, however, as I remembered how happy Mom had been here for 40 years, with its stupendous view from the 34th floor, and how hard I have worked for the past four years to enable her to stay here.
As an experience, emptying the apartment was interesting. It's not like actual moving, where you just decide what remains part of this collection of stuff, and then transport the collection to a new space. Here, the collection as an entity is terminated, and each item has to be dealt with individually (or did, with me...). I wanted to "find a good home" for each thing, and we largely succeeded. Very very little actually got trashed.
Returning home with our last load, we looked back on two weeks of ferrying things from Mom's apartment on the East Side to ours on the West Side. Arriving home each night, we are appalled at the mess we have created. There hasn't been time to unpack the boxes and store away the contents, so our apartment has become a warehouse with narrow aisles threading through. We had a celebratory glass of wine and sighed, putting off until tomorrow the next cleanup project.
I've also been catching up with doctor and dentist appointments, preparatory to diving into the Canadian health care system. Point A, we have a three-month waiting period before we can take advantage of that system; point B, I have good insurance here that can't be transferred, including dental insurance.
Monday, December 3, 2007
12/03/07: Emptying Mom's apartment
Life lately has been completely saturated with Things. Furniture, clothing, dishes, etc., etc. It took 3 days for me and Fumiko to clear out all the closets and cupboards, and to arrange everything for maximum sale. Each day, we trek over to Mom's apartment, and each evening we come back to our own apartment, which is almost as cluttered!
On Friday night, my son and daughter and daughter-in-law came over to help with pricing. We really appreciated their help, as Fumiko and I were a little bleary-eyed (not sleeping well lately), and we also enjoyed their company, a Chinese take-out dinner, and the incredible night view from the 34th floor out over the East River and all of Queens.
The sale the next day, Saturday 12-5, was successful. I posted signs around the neighborhood, in addition to several notices on electronic bulletin boards. We took in about $600 and got rid of a lot of stuff, but at the end there was still a lot left! So, I guess I'll spend a good deal of this week packing and sending to charities, etc., as well as negotiating pickups through the freight elevator process here. A few items I can't bear to throw out or give away I'm listing on eBay at high starting prices. Obviously, despite my good intentions to be practical, even ruthless, in getting rid of stuff, I've gotten caught up in the process...
Sister Margie reports that Mom is settling in well at her new home in Boston, and seems to be happy there. For her own part, Margie is energetically taking charge of the many little details needed to support and cushion Mom's daily life. Nothing I need to worry about there!
On another front, the real estate lawyer is still trying to make meaningful contact with my landlord's representative to get formal permission to sublet. It's been about two weeks now, which includes a week off (on both sides?) for Thanksgiving.
On Friday night, my son and daughter and daughter-in-law came over to help with pricing. We really appreciated their help, as Fumiko and I were a little bleary-eyed (not sleeping well lately), and we also enjoyed their company, a Chinese take-out dinner, and the incredible night view from the 34th floor out over the East River and all of Queens.
The sale the next day, Saturday 12-5, was successful. I posted signs around the neighborhood, in addition to several notices on electronic bulletin boards. We took in about $600 and got rid of a lot of stuff, but at the end there was still a lot left! So, I guess I'll spend a good deal of this week packing and sending to charities, etc., as well as negotiating pickups through the freight elevator process here. A few items I can't bear to throw out or give away I'm listing on eBay at high starting prices. Obviously, despite my good intentions to be practical, even ruthless, in getting rid of stuff, I've gotten caught up in the process...
Sister Margie reports that Mom is settling in well at her new home in Boston, and seems to be happy there. For her own part, Margie is energetically taking charge of the many little details needed to support and cushion Mom's daily life. Nothing I need to worry about there!
On another front, the real estate lawyer is still trying to make meaningful contact with my landlord's representative to get formal permission to sublet. It's been about two weeks now, which includes a week off (on both sides?) for Thanksgiving.
Thursday, November 29, 2007
11/29/07: Mom is settled in Boston!
We did it! On Tuesday, Fumiko and Mom and I took the Amtrak Acela express to Boston and successfully installed Mom in her new home. On Mom's part, it was a largely peaceful transition. She enjoyed the train ride, which included a number of "snacks," and was impressed with the attractive building and grounds of the nursing home (Hebrew Senior Life). Her personal space there is of course rather small, but my sister Margie was cheerful about taking to her house some of the mountain of Mom's possessions we had brought, to hold for future needs. Margie reported the next day that Mom seemed to be busy and happy there, and Margie was very optimistic about her adjustment.
To backtrack a bit, I had a busy weekend. On Saturday, I washed almost every bit of Mom's clothing that is washable (if not machine washable, I won't send it). I hadn't realized until then what a lot of clothing Mom actually owns. I referred to the coming trip about every two minutes during the day (Let's take this when we go to your new home in Boston on Tuesday..."), and I instructed the weekend caretakers to continue this litany. Even so, she continued to express surprise from time to time (and one of her reactions after arrival in Boston was that no one had prepared her for this!).
Sunday afternoon we had a party at Mom's apartment for six of the current and just-past caretakers who have worked with her. They were all interested in meeting each other, and in saying good-bye to Mom. Fortunately, Mom does seem to evoke affection in others very easily! We brought in fried chicken and wine, Fumiko made miso soup and salad, and Cora (one of the helpers) brought a big apple pie. I encouraged the helpers to take some memento of Mom (clothing, book, art object), and almost all of them chose a few books to take away.
On Monday, I went to a little cake-and-coffee ceremony at Mom's day center, where everyone said good-bye. Mom was very gracious and appreciative. Monday afternoon and evening was a whirlwind of packing. I quickly realized that we would have to cut back on taking everything, but even so we had four suitcases and a cardboard box, including two radios, her calendar-clock, and a number of framed family photographs, plus the wheelchair and a walker!
I slept over at Mom's and got up at 6 to start gathering loose ends. Contrary to my fears, Mom woke up easily and was full of energy and cheer. Fumiko arrived at 7 and began wrestling the luggage into some portable mass. We were downstairs ready to go, Mom in her Queen-Elizabeth red hat looking very pert, by 8:40. By 8:45, the car had not arrived, so I called and they had lost my reservation! They promised to send another by 9 a.m., but I was a bit distraught, since the train leaves at 10. We managed to cram everything into the standard sedan when it arrived, and I white-knuckled it through the heavy traffic for 30 minutes. We got to Penn Station at 9:40, somehow blundered our awkward way to the elevator, picked up the tickets, and were escorted to the train by a redcap. In our seats with 5 minutes to spare!
The ride was pleasant, we arrived on time (actually a little before we expected, so we had a mad scramble to get out before the doors closed on us), found a taxi and got to the nursing home at about 2 p.m., right on schedule. Margie was there to meet us and we successfully negotiated the various formalities. At 4, I said a quick good-bye to Mom, and Fumiko and I left to have dinner with my Boston son and his family. Margie seemed to be gamely taking up the reins of control, and for myself I could only feel an enormous relief as I turned over to her almost all my responsibilities (I'll still be handling the finances from a distance). I hope Mom will do well there, and I think she will. Everyone seemed very friendly; lots of kissing, which Mom likes. And lately she's been so confused about where she lives and what her life consists of that I don't think she will actually miss anything. One small advantage of dementia is the absence of nostalgia and regret.
We were back in New York by midnight, and up early the next morning to begin the process of emptying Mom's apartment. Though it's exhausting work, I feel some satisfaction at clearing out cabinets and closets of 40 years of accumulated stuff, which I have been trying to ignore and work around during the past 4 years of caring for Mom. Most of the stuff has no history for me (ancient suitcases, an iron with a frayed cord, etc.), but occasionally there are surprises, like a huge white Irish linen tablecloth with the labels still intact. We'll have an apartment sale and then donate what's left over.
To backtrack a bit, I had a busy weekend. On Saturday, I washed almost every bit of Mom's clothing that is washable (if not machine washable, I won't send it). I hadn't realized until then what a lot of clothing Mom actually owns. I referred to the coming trip about every two minutes during the day (Let's take this when we go to your new home in Boston on Tuesday..."), and I instructed the weekend caretakers to continue this litany. Even so, she continued to express surprise from time to time (and one of her reactions after arrival in Boston was that no one had prepared her for this!).
Sunday afternoon we had a party at Mom's apartment for six of the current and just-past caretakers who have worked with her. They were all interested in meeting each other, and in saying good-bye to Mom. Fortunately, Mom does seem to evoke affection in others very easily! We brought in fried chicken and wine, Fumiko made miso soup and salad, and Cora (one of the helpers) brought a big apple pie. I encouraged the helpers to take some memento of Mom (clothing, book, art object), and almost all of them chose a few books to take away.
On Monday, I went to a little cake-and-coffee ceremony at Mom's day center, where everyone said good-bye. Mom was very gracious and appreciative. Monday afternoon and evening was a whirlwind of packing. I quickly realized that we would have to cut back on taking everything, but even so we had four suitcases and a cardboard box, including two radios, her calendar-clock, and a number of framed family photographs, plus the wheelchair and a walker!
I slept over at Mom's and got up at 6 to start gathering loose ends. Contrary to my fears, Mom woke up easily and was full of energy and cheer. Fumiko arrived at 7 and began wrestling the luggage into some portable mass. We were downstairs ready to go, Mom in her Queen-Elizabeth red hat looking very pert, by 8:40. By 8:45, the car had not arrived, so I called and they had lost my reservation! They promised to send another by 9 a.m., but I was a bit distraught, since the train leaves at 10. We managed to cram everything into the standard sedan when it arrived, and I white-knuckled it through the heavy traffic for 30 minutes. We got to Penn Station at 9:40, somehow blundered our awkward way to the elevator, picked up the tickets, and were escorted to the train by a redcap. In our seats with 5 minutes to spare!
The ride was pleasant, we arrived on time (actually a little before we expected, so we had a mad scramble to get out before the doors closed on us), found a taxi and got to the nursing home at about 2 p.m., right on schedule. Margie was there to meet us and we successfully negotiated the various formalities. At 4, I said a quick good-bye to Mom, and Fumiko and I left to have dinner with my Boston son and his family. Margie seemed to be gamely taking up the reins of control, and for myself I could only feel an enormous relief as I turned over to her almost all my responsibilities (I'll still be handling the finances from a distance). I hope Mom will do well there, and I think she will. Everyone seemed very friendly; lots of kissing, which Mom likes. And lately she's been so confused about where she lives and what her life consists of that I don't think she will actually miss anything. One small advantage of dementia is the absence of nostalgia and regret.
We were back in New York by midnight, and up early the next morning to begin the process of emptying Mom's apartment. Though it's exhausting work, I feel some satisfaction at clearing out cabinets and closets of 40 years of accumulated stuff, which I have been trying to ignore and work around during the past 4 years of caring for Mom. Most of the stuff has no history for me (ancient suitcases, an iron with a frayed cord, etc.), but occasionally there are surprises, like a huge white Irish linen tablecloth with the labels still intact. We'll have an apartment sale and then donate what's left over.
Saturday, November 24, 2007
11/24/07: A breakthrough!
Last Tuesday afternoon, two days before Thanksgiving, the (first) nursing home called to say they had a bed. Fumiko thinks this was because I had just mailed the application to the second nursing home the day before! (Although neither of the two applications they claimed to have mailed has ever arrived, I asked my son in Boston to go over there on Sunday, pick one up, scan it, and email it to me, which he did -- he's a computer professional with a houseful of hi-tech stuff).
So, after some jockeying, we arranged to bring Mom to Boston on Tuesday 11/27 for admission. Fumiko and I will take her on the train. Between now and then is Thanksgiving, packing, and a couple of good-bye parties. Although Mom may not remember the parties, perhaps they will help her accept the change, and they will definitely help others to deal with her leaving. (In particular, Mom has a devoted admirer at her day center who will be devastated at the loss. They originally met at Mom's previous day center, and this woman changed centers when Mom did, two years ago. I would call her a "friend," except that Mom seems relatively unconscious of this affection.)
Thanksgiving was very nice, at my daughter's in the suburbs of Westchester County. Mom seemed to enjoy herself, and only got cranky and demanding toward the end of the day. Coming home was a struggle -- first a car, then the train (crowded), then the elevator at 125th Station was broken, so two policemen carried Mom in her chair down two flights of stairs. Then the chair wouldn't fold up, so we took a bus rather than taxi home, arriving about 10 p.m.
On Friday I bought train tickets, and planned a party for all the current and recent helpers for Sunday. I also talked to Mom's doctor about the state of her bowels, which have been very loose lately, making toileting more of a problem; I'm worried about frequent toilet access during the 3.5-hour train ride. Today, Saturday, is for talking and packing. I decided to delay talking to Mom about the move until today, when I'm there for the day. Thanksgiving is complicated enough without adding Boston to the brew (though other family members were eager to discuss the new developments, and I had to keep shushing them). I don't know how Mom will react to the actuality of it. We have talked about it as a future event, and she behaved as though we were discussing a third person, but now it is definite. I don't want to have to drag her to the train kicking and screaming.
So, after some jockeying, we arranged to bring Mom to Boston on Tuesday 11/27 for admission. Fumiko and I will take her on the train. Between now and then is Thanksgiving, packing, and a couple of good-bye parties. Although Mom may not remember the parties, perhaps they will help her accept the change, and they will definitely help others to deal with her leaving. (In particular, Mom has a devoted admirer at her day center who will be devastated at the loss. They originally met at Mom's previous day center, and this woman changed centers when Mom did, two years ago. I would call her a "friend," except that Mom seems relatively unconscious of this affection.)
Thanksgiving was very nice, at my daughter's in the suburbs of Westchester County. Mom seemed to enjoy herself, and only got cranky and demanding toward the end of the day. Coming home was a struggle -- first a car, then the train (crowded), then the elevator at 125th Station was broken, so two policemen carried Mom in her chair down two flights of stairs. Then the chair wouldn't fold up, so we took a bus rather than taxi home, arriving about 10 p.m.
On Friday I bought train tickets, and planned a party for all the current and recent helpers for Sunday. I also talked to Mom's doctor about the state of her bowels, which have been very loose lately, making toileting more of a problem; I'm worried about frequent toilet access during the 3.5-hour train ride. Today, Saturday, is for talking and packing. I decided to delay talking to Mom about the move until today, when I'm there for the day. Thanksgiving is complicated enough without adding Boston to the brew (though other family members were eager to discuss the new developments, and I had to keep shushing them). I don't know how Mom will react to the actuality of it. We have talked about it as a future event, and she behaved as though we were discussing a third person, but now it is definite. I don't want to have to drag her to the train kicking and screaming.
11/17/07: Stress is building
We had a big argument, in which Thanksgiving was both a cause and an effect. It ended, and we will have a nice Thanksgiving at my daughter's home, but the fight perhaps showed that we are both nervous about making so many changes in our life.
In ten days, I have been unable to get an application for the second nursing home. They claim to have mailed it twice, but it doesn't arrive. I wonder if they will be able to care for my mother properly?
We have had five new helpers in the last few weeks, which has meant a lot of work for me interviewing and training and stress for Mom, who gets anxious with new people, and with the feeling of being left out during the interview/training process. It's starting to settle down now, finally.
Aside from training helpers, we spend a lot of time trying to organize the stuff in the household, giving a lot away on freecycle and succeeding in reducing the clutter considerably. Fumiko has found an ad for a desirable job in Toronto, sent a resume, and received an encouraging response, so she is eager to get there and start living. I am glad we have a few more weeks, since the apartment is still covered with piles and boxes of stuff to be dealt with.
I got in touch with my real estate lawyer (whom I engaged some months ago for this purpose) and had him begin the sublet negotiations with my landlord, who is so far proving evasive. I also requested liquidation of one of Mom's securities, to generate cash for the (hopefully) soon-to-come nursing home. This was the final step in a chain. I didn't want to sell anything that would result in a large capital gain, and I didn't want large checks floating around in the mail. So, I set up direct deposit to Mom's bank (get form from company, trip to bank with Mom for signature guarantee, copy and mail form), and determined the cost basis for this security for taxes (call bank to request reinvestment history since 1984, then several calls to interpret and verify this information). See what an exciting life I have?
The weather is turning cold, and we are reminded that it may be much colder in Canada. However, watching the temperature ranges on Yahoo, it doesn't seem that Toronto is that much colder than New York, just a few degrees. Now, Ottawa is another story...
In ten days, I have been unable to get an application for the second nursing home. They claim to have mailed it twice, but it doesn't arrive. I wonder if they will be able to care for my mother properly?
We have had five new helpers in the last few weeks, which has meant a lot of work for me interviewing and training and stress for Mom, who gets anxious with new people, and with the feeling of being left out during the interview/training process. It's starting to settle down now, finally.
Aside from training helpers, we spend a lot of time trying to organize the stuff in the household, giving a lot away on freecycle and succeeding in reducing the clutter considerably. Fumiko has found an ad for a desirable job in Toronto, sent a resume, and received an encouraging response, so she is eager to get there and start living. I am glad we have a few more weeks, since the apartment is still covered with piles and boxes of stuff to be dealt with.
I got in touch with my real estate lawyer (whom I engaged some months ago for this purpose) and had him begin the sublet negotiations with my landlord, who is so far proving evasive. I also requested liquidation of one of Mom's securities, to generate cash for the (hopefully) soon-to-come nursing home. This was the final step in a chain. I didn't want to sell anything that would result in a large capital gain, and I didn't want large checks floating around in the mail. So, I set up direct deposit to Mom's bank (get form from company, trip to bank with Mom for signature guarantee, copy and mail form), and determined the cost basis for this security for taxes (call bank to request reinvestment history since 1984, then several calls to interpret and verify this information). See what an exciting life I have?
The weather is turning cold, and we are reminded that it may be much colder in Canada. However, watching the temperature ranges on Yahoo, it doesn't seem that Toronto is that much colder than New York, just a few degrees. Now, Ottawa is another story...
Thursday, November 8, 2007
11/07/07: Plan B
Fumiko was in Toronto from Saturday to Tuesday, and returned full of enthusiasm and energy. The vague idea of "Canada" is now a reality! Her immediate impressions (comparing Toronto to New York and Tokyo): Toronto is tiny; everyone is kind and helpful beyond belief; prices are high (even after the 8% premium to convert U.S. into Canadian dollars!). She stayed at a Japanese B&B near the University of Toronto (i.e., near the downtown area) and immediately made friends with all and sundry -- two people are visiting us in New York this coming weekend! There is a large Japanese population in Toronto, not to mention throngs of other East Asians, South Asians, and Middle Eastern folk. Fumiko says that at times she could not believe she was in Canada because there were so many non-white people on the streets. She brought back maps and local newspapers (in English and Japanese), and dreams of running her own small-scale B&B.
The nursing home continues to be polite but vague. When I asked if the forms for medical history had been sent out, the social worker said "The secretary is working on it," which I assume means she really doesn't know. Nothing stands in the way of admission, she says, except waiting for a bed (x people must die), and that cannot be predicted. Other steps in our move are waiting until Mom moves (or has a date to do so) -- closing her apartment and subletting my apartment -- and I have nightmares of it turning into January or February before she gets admitted. Unthinkable. So, yesterday I called a few other places in Boston and found one that is also near my sister and has vacancies; they will send forms and I'll apply there also. My sister is, understandably, opposed to a double move (to this place temporarily, and then to the desirable nursing home when it becomes available). I am, too, in theory, but I need a Plan B to avoid getting stranded here. On the homecare front, two helpers left (one for good reason and one not so) in the past two weeks, so another hiring/training effort has become necessary. This time I'm warning applicants that it is a temporary job.
Fumiko's sister recently had an operation to reduce her pain from osteoporosis, and to increase her range of movement. Contrary to Fumiko's fears, other member of the family stepped forward to assist in this difficult time, and the patient seems to be doing well so far, and to be optimistic about the long-term results of the procedure.
The nursing home continues to be polite but vague. When I asked if the forms for medical history had been sent out, the social worker said "The secretary is working on it," which I assume means she really doesn't know. Nothing stands in the way of admission, she says, except waiting for a bed (x people must die), and that cannot be predicted. Other steps in our move are waiting until Mom moves (or has a date to do so) -- closing her apartment and subletting my apartment -- and I have nightmares of it turning into January or February before she gets admitted. Unthinkable. So, yesterday I called a few other places in Boston and found one that is also near my sister and has vacancies; they will send forms and I'll apply there also. My sister is, understandably, opposed to a double move (to this place temporarily, and then to the desirable nursing home when it becomes available). I am, too, in theory, but I need a Plan B to avoid getting stranded here. On the homecare front, two helpers left (one for good reason and one not so) in the past two weeks, so another hiring/training effort has become necessary. This time I'm warning applicants that it is a temporary job.
Fumiko's sister recently had an operation to reduce her pain from osteoporosis, and to increase her range of movement. Contrary to Fumiko's fears, other member of the family stepped forward to assist in this difficult time, and the patient seems to be doing well so far, and to be optimistic about the long-term results of the procedure.
Thursday, November 1, 2007
11/01/07: Not much new
The application has reached the nursing home, and I have stressed to the social worker there the importance of speed. We really want to move Mom in 4-6 weeks, so if they can't take her that soon, maybe we'll consider a temporary location.
Fumiko is going to Toronto this weekend for three days. She got a cheap fare on Continental (US$162 round trip), and found a Japanese B&B there. A friend of a friend will guide her for part of a day.
We are slowly working our way through the apartment, inventorying everything and deciding what to keep, what to give away, etc. Very slowly -- it takes a lot of time. I've tried selling a few things on eBay, with disappointing results, but I've had great success giving things away using freecycle, a mailing list for offering and requesting free stuff. It has thousands of members, and so far almost everything I have put up there has been wanted by someone, usually by many people. A teakettle, a half-filled penny collection, a pitchpipe, old antenna wire, partly-used art supplies, etc. Amazing, and for a sentimental packrat like me who can't throw anything away, a godsend!
We've interviewed a couple of potential subletters, but our vagueness is a problem. People like to know how long the apartment will be available, which is reasonable, but it's hard for us to predict when we will be able/willing to commit to Canada, find a semi-permanent home, and move all our stuff.
Fumiko is going to Toronto this weekend for three days. She got a cheap fare on Continental (US$162 round trip), and found a Japanese B&B there. A friend of a friend will guide her for part of a day.
We are slowly working our way through the apartment, inventorying everything and deciding what to keep, what to give away, etc. Very slowly -- it takes a lot of time. I've tried selling a few things on eBay, with disappointing results, but I've had great success giving things away using freecycle, a mailing list for offering and requesting free stuff. It has thousands of members, and so far almost everything I have put up there has been wanted by someone, usually by many people. A teakettle, a half-filled penny collection, a pitchpipe, old antenna wire, partly-used art supplies, etc. Amazing, and for a sentimental packrat like me who can't throw anything away, a godsend!
We've interviewed a couple of potential subletters, but our vagueness is a problem. People like to know how long the apartment will be available, which is reasonable, but it's hard for us to predict when we will be able/willing to commit to Canada, find a semi-permanent home, and move all our stuff.
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
10/24/07: What keeps us here?
Three things now stand between us and making the transition to Canada: getting my mom settled, and closing down her apartment; subletting my apartment; and making an inventory of everything that we might want to take to Canada, now or later. I've accepted the invitation of my daughter in Yonkers for Thanksgiving, as I doubt that we'll be in a position to leave before then.
After a few days of emails back and forth, and a few tears, my sister and I were able to agree on a plan. Since I have been managing Mom's finances and keeping the records, I will continue to be the financial guarantor and take whatever risk there is (what if Mom is denied Medicaid when the time comes, that is, when she runs out of money in a year or so?). Margie will visit Mom at the nursing home very near her house and provide ongoing emotional support, along with my son and other relatives in Boston. I finished the nursing home application today and sent it off, hoping that it will be processed fairly quickly so that we can all move on. Mom's care at home is becoming increasingly difficult to manage with the equipment and staff we have been using.
Fumiko is now healthy, but is alternately restless and lethargic. She doesn't have many friends left in New York, and no legitimate occupation other than packing up stuff in the apartment, and I guess she had her fill of that already in Japan. We have been thinking of taking a trip to Canada so that she can get an idea of it -- she's never been there -- and we went so far as to make reservations for a cheap flight last night. But overnight I worried that a visit might actually make things worse -- no resolution of anything, can't actually get a job or an apartment right now, etc. This morning, Fumiko said that she could go to Toronto (and maybe Niagara Falls on the way) on her own and look around. If she goes by train (which she loves), she could just stay as long as she needs to, without making advance return reservations. This plan seemed to energize her, and it's fine with me. I have a lot to do here just now. So I canceled the air reservations, and I'll let her make arrangements.
Last week we went to see "Three Mo' Tenors" at the Little Shubert Theatre and both enjoyed it. We also watch a lot of TV, and Fumiko has gotten me addicted to sudoku puzzles! The apartment is still in complete chaos. We are putting a few things up for sale on eBay and see how they do.
After a few days of emails back and forth, and a few tears, my sister and I were able to agree on a plan. Since I have been managing Mom's finances and keeping the records, I will continue to be the financial guarantor and take whatever risk there is (what if Mom is denied Medicaid when the time comes, that is, when she runs out of money in a year or so?). Margie will visit Mom at the nursing home very near her house and provide ongoing emotional support, along with my son and other relatives in Boston. I finished the nursing home application today and sent it off, hoping that it will be processed fairly quickly so that we can all move on. Mom's care at home is becoming increasingly difficult to manage with the equipment and staff we have been using.
Fumiko is now healthy, but is alternately restless and lethargic. She doesn't have many friends left in New York, and no legitimate occupation other than packing up stuff in the apartment, and I guess she had her fill of that already in Japan. We have been thinking of taking a trip to Canada so that she can get an idea of it -- she's never been there -- and we went so far as to make reservations for a cheap flight last night. But overnight I worried that a visit might actually make things worse -- no resolution of anything, can't actually get a job or an apartment right now, etc. This morning, Fumiko said that she could go to Toronto (and maybe Niagara Falls on the way) on her own and look around. If she goes by train (which she loves), she could just stay as long as she needs to, without making advance return reservations. This plan seemed to energize her, and it's fine with me. I have a lot to do here just now. So I canceled the air reservations, and I'll let her make arrangements.
Last week we went to see "Three Mo' Tenors" at the Little Shubert Theatre and both enjoyed it. We also watch a lot of TV, and Fumiko has gotten me addicted to sudoku puzzles! The apartment is still in complete chaos. We are putting a few things up for sale on eBay and see how they do.
Thursday, October 18, 2007
10/18/07: Progress is very slow
A progress report: My sister and I decided that it would be best to move Mom to a nursing home close to my sister in Boston. Mom is getting weaker, and it is clear that there needs to be a take-charge family member near her, wherever she is, which cannot be me. So, we have requested the necessary application forms to be sent to me, and are waiting. The n.h. in question cannot seem to give us much idea of how long it will take to admit (or reject) her -- "weeks or months," they say! Aiii. Under the current circumstances, I told the family that we'll most likely be here for Thanksgiving.
Fumiko is healthy now, and we have done a little sightseeing in New York City, and are working on clearing out the apartment of a few decades' accumulation of stuff. We're trying to sell some things on eBay, give away others via the freecyclenewyorkcity group, and donate to the gay center, the public library, and the electronics recycle site. But it's slow going, and the process tends to increase the clutter in the apartment geometrically, if only temporarily.
On Tuesday the phone broke (no dial tone), and on Wednesday they came to repair it. Seems the main connection is in the hall closet, behind about 30 pounds of stuff that we had to take out. So, that aided the general clear-out process. Almost 40 years I've been in this apartment, and I never knew that the phone connection was there. It's never broken before.
Subletting the apartment also proceeds slowly, or not at all. Since we don't know when we'll be leaving, or how long it will be that we'll want to hang on to it "just in case," the matter is vague, like everything else right now.
We did find out that the list of stuff to hand over to customs when we land can be suitably vague in most cases (500 pieces of clothing, 10 boxes of books, etc.). They're only fussy about electronics (show serial numbers, date of purchase) and jewelry (photos). And we also confirmed that we can go to Canada for a look-see without activating our visas. So in a few weeks maybe we'll get a cheap flight and visit for a few days. Fumiko has never been to Canada...
Fumiko is healthy now, and we have done a little sightseeing in New York City, and are working on clearing out the apartment of a few decades' accumulation of stuff. We're trying to sell some things on eBay, give away others via the freecyclenewyorkcity group, and donate to the gay center, the public library, and the electronics recycle site. But it's slow going, and the process tends to increase the clutter in the apartment geometrically, if only temporarily.
On Tuesday the phone broke (no dial tone), and on Wednesday they came to repair it. Seems the main connection is in the hall closet, behind about 30 pounds of stuff that we had to take out. So, that aided the general clear-out process. Almost 40 years I've been in this apartment, and I never knew that the phone connection was there. It's never broken before.
Subletting the apartment also proceeds slowly, or not at all. Since we don't know when we'll be leaving, or how long it will be that we'll want to hang on to it "just in case," the matter is vague, like everything else right now.
We did find out that the list of stuff to hand over to customs when we land can be suitably vague in most cases (500 pieces of clothing, 10 boxes of books, etc.). They're only fussy about electronics (show serial numbers, date of purchase) and jewelry (photos). And we also confirmed that we can go to Canada for a look-see without activating our visas. So in a few weeks maybe we'll get a cheap flight and visit for a few days. Fumiko has never been to Canada...
Thursday, October 11, 2007
10/11/07: Visa in hand!
Today, Fumiko's cold is almost gone, and she actually slept until 5:30 a.m. In the afternoon, we went downtown to the Canadian consulate and picked up our passports, with shiny new Canadian visas inside. Fumiko took hers out and gazed at it many times during the day. Legal at last! We have to activate the visas ("land") by 05/05/08 (probably the date of our physical exams). If they are not used by then, they expire, and we have to apply all over again. Not to worry, we'll be there!
Details for fellow emigrants: Actually, they handed me a very large manila envelope containing the two passports and:
Well, anyway, we braved several rainstorms to buy some Japanese goodies to have a little treat-and-TV celebration, and splashed home.
Details for fellow emigrants: Actually, they handed me a very large manila envelope containing the two passports and:
- a receipt for our last payment (dated 5/24/07)
- two forms in triplicate, with our photos affixed, entitled Confirmation of Permanent Residence -- I was warned not to sign them until we land
- a letter of instructions and warnings, some rather scary
- a rather comprehensive booklet "A Newcomer's Introduction to Canada"
- pamphlet "Residency Obligations for Permanent Residents"
- pamphlet "Settling in Canada: Information on importing goods for people intending to settle in Canada" (Pub. RC4151 at http://www.cbsa.gc.ca/publications/pub/pubs-eng.html). This indicates that there will be a lot of paperwork involved in bringing all our "stuff" into Canada, and that any possessions we bring in will need to "age" a year in Canada before we can sell or give them away, or pay duty.
Well, anyway, we braved several rainstorms to buy some Japanese goodies to have a little treat-and-TV celebration, and splashed home.
10/10/07: What to do about Mom?
Background: Eleanor has been supervising the care of her mother Vic, now 96 years old. Vic has short-term memory loss (like Alzheimer's) and really bad knees, but is otherwise healthy. Since a bad fall in December 2006, we have had a number of part-time people staying with her so that, in addition to her day center schedule, she is never alone. Vic lives in her own apartment on Manhattan's Upper East Side, a walk and a bus ride (or a short taxi ride) from Eleanor's apartment on the Upper West Side. Eleanor has been hoping to be able to continue this arrangement, avoiding the immediate need for institutional care, which we think will be hard on Vic, who has great trouble now learning new things (how to get from her bedroom to the dining room in a new place, for instance).
I guess my wish to continue her at home by remote control from Canada is not going to be doable. This morning she lost her balance getting out of the tub and hit her head, before the helper could catch her. Didn't fall all the way, since she was caught, but bumped her head and cut her elbow. Helper was upset, called me and asked if she should call an ambulance. I said no, I went there, let Mom sleep until 10. Woke her up, she drank orange juice, I discovered a cut on the elbow, bandaged it, then changed sheets because of the blood!
I called the doctor and he agreed (with me pushing hard in that direction) that if she showed no other symptoms than a bump which was painful to touch (no vomiting, dizziness, headaches, etc.), no need to go to emergency room for a CAT scan. Good. She had a big breakfast, didn't seem any different; she dressed, and I took her to the day center about noon.
So, I can probably get somebody who could stay with her from 8:30 on, after the overnight person goes to her day job, but it's hard to find someone who will take responsibility for making these medical decisions -- and then implementing them if the conservative go-to-the-hospital path is elected. Also, Mom is having more and more trouble walking, which makes caring for her more difficult. Currently, we mostly urge her along, but if/when she just refuses, I'm not sure what we'll do. The doctor says there are gadgets (machines?) that make lifiting her easier for the aides.
Also, this was hard on the heels of a fall last Saturday morning, again while the aide's head was momentarily turned. Apparently, she slipped off the edge of the bed where she was sitting, and took a lot of skin off her arm (her skin is very thin and fragile, and this often happens). So now there are two bandages to change! We'll have to be more vigilant now, but nobody can guarantee that we can eliminate all such accidents.
I'm really discouraged about this. I think I've just been dodging the reality. We've talked about taking her with us to Canada, but Medicare won't work there, and I don't know if immigration will accept her and/or allow her to have health care, and we don't even have a clear idea of where we're going at this point. I'll try asking about case managers here in New York, but maybe it's best if Mom goes into a nursing home near my sister in Boston.
I guess my wish to continue her at home by remote control from Canada is not going to be doable. This morning she lost her balance getting out of the tub and hit her head, before the helper could catch her. Didn't fall all the way, since she was caught, but bumped her head and cut her elbow. Helper was upset, called me and asked if she should call an ambulance. I said no, I went there, let Mom sleep until 10. Woke her up, she drank orange juice, I discovered a cut on the elbow, bandaged it, then changed sheets because of the blood!
I called the doctor and he agreed (with me pushing hard in that direction) that if she showed no other symptoms than a bump which was painful to touch (no vomiting, dizziness, headaches, etc.), no need to go to emergency room for a CAT scan. Good. She had a big breakfast, didn't seem any different; she dressed, and I took her to the day center about noon.
So, I can probably get somebody who could stay with her from 8:30 on, after the overnight person goes to her day job, but it's hard to find someone who will take responsibility for making these medical decisions -- and then implementing them if the conservative go-to-the-hospital path is elected. Also, Mom is having more and more trouble walking, which makes caring for her more difficult. Currently, we mostly urge her along, but if/when she just refuses, I'm not sure what we'll do. The doctor says there are gadgets (machines?) that make lifiting her easier for the aides.
Also, this was hard on the heels of a fall last Saturday morning, again while the aide's head was momentarily turned. Apparently, she slipped off the edge of the bed where she was sitting, and took a lot of skin off her arm (her skin is very thin and fragile, and this often happens). So now there are two bandages to change! We'll have to be more vigilant now, but nobody can guarantee that we can eliminate all such accidents.
I'm really discouraged about this. I think I've just been dodging the reality. We've talked about taking her with us to Canada, but Medicare won't work there, and I don't know if immigration will accept her and/or allow her to have health care, and we don't even have a clear idea of where we're going at this point. I'll try asking about case managers here in New York, but maybe it's best if Mom goes into a nursing home near my sister in Boston.
Monday, October 8, 2007
10/8/07: Fumiko's body tries to catch up
This is Monday night, and Fumiko has been not only jet-lagged, but sick with a bad cold, since Friday. She's avoided visiting my mother, not wanting to infect her, and though she joined me on Sunday to see a couple of sites during Open House New York (www.ohny.org), she's otherwise been sleeping around the clock, waking up occasionally to send email, cook, eat, and watch a little TV. Poor thing! She's made some yummy food, however -- that seems to be more fun for her than TV. Anyway, it's not really "real life" yet because of that, and so we haven't made any plans for our future yet. I've been breaking in two new helpers for my mom, and we've both been successful in getting rid of some old computer parts, disks, etc.
Thursday, October 4, 2007
10/4/07: Submit passports for visa
Thursday morning, I woke at 7 a.m. to hear Fumiko on the telephone with a friend in Japan (not to worry, I have a very cheap dial-around service). We decided to try for the Consulate today -- we can go 8:30 to 10:30, but we need to get photos before that. Left here about 8:30, went to CVS drug store, but they don't do different photos (specs for Canadian visa photos are different from those for US passports). To subway to go down to 48th Street, assuming we can find a photo store near the Consulate that knows the specs. However, my transit card wouldn't work! Expired, it says! I was frantic and made a lot of fuss, since I had just filled it yesterday, but the receipt was at home. I couldn't cope -- too many obstacles for one day -- and I stormed out toward home. There, I found the receipt, which showed that the transaction had not completed, so we went to the subway and I did it again, and we proceeded downtown once again, still had time.
Found a photo store (expensive, but you can't have everything), got the photos, and went to the consulate. There, it took only a few minutes to hand over the passports and photos and get back a little card that said to come back next Thursday between 2 and 3. Great! Well, we have already paid a lot of money and waited two years, so we certainly deserve not to have to cool our heels any more! Now I feel like we're really on our way!!
[Technical immigration note: The consulate asked if I had a letter from the attorney agreeing to let me pick up the visa directly in this manner, rather than through him. I said no, no one mentioned that -- not the lawyer, not the notification from Canada. They said no problem, they would call the lawyer. Neat! Later, I emailed our lawyer in Toronto about this and he said they asked him to send a letter for the record, even though it will probably arrive after we have picked up the visas. ]
It's so great to have Fumiko here! Since I'm not working, we can be together 24 hours a day if we want. After our victory over the forces of chaos (internal and external) this morning, we went to the Times Square Information Center to get a program for this weekend's Open House New York, some new bus and subway maps, and also found a few local Japanese newspapers for Fumiko. While there, we tried out their Internet cam and took our picture (see profile here) and mailed it to ourselves. Then, to 43rd Street where the Asian grocery Sam Bok used to be -- but the whole block is different, with skyscrapers going up on the south side of the street and (apparently) rents going up on the north side -- no Sam Bok, and no one to ask.
On to the Japanese block on 41st Street off Fifth -- a Japanese bakery-cafe, book store, and grocery store, where we loaded up. Then home, feeling like it's been a day well spent, and not yet noon!
Found a photo store (expensive, but you can't have everything), got the photos, and went to the consulate. There, it took only a few minutes to hand over the passports and photos and get back a little card that said to come back next Thursday between 2 and 3. Great! Well, we have already paid a lot of money and waited two years, so we certainly deserve not to have to cool our heels any more! Now I feel like we're really on our way!!
[Technical immigration note: The consulate asked if I had a letter from the attorney agreeing to let me pick up the visa directly in this manner, rather than through him. I said no, no one mentioned that -- not the lawyer, not the notification from Canada. They said no problem, they would call the lawyer. Neat! Later, I emailed our lawyer in Toronto about this and he said they asked him to send a letter for the record, even though it will probably arrive after we have picked up the visas. ]
It's so great to have Fumiko here! Since I'm not working, we can be together 24 hours a day if we want. After our victory over the forces of chaos (internal and external) this morning, we went to the Times Square Information Center to get a program for this weekend's Open House New York, some new bus and subway maps, and also found a few local Japanese newspapers for Fumiko. While there, we tried out their Internet cam and took our picture (see profile here) and mailed it to ourselves. Then, to 43rd Street where the Asian grocery Sam Bok used to be -- but the whole block is different, with skyscrapers going up on the south side of the street and (apparently) rents going up on the north side -- no Sam Bok, and no one to ask.
On to the Japanese block on 41st Street off Fifth -- a Japanese bakery-cafe, book store, and grocery store, where we loaded up. Then home, feeling like it's been a day well spent, and not yet noon!
10/3/07: Back together
Fumiko arrived on schedule on Tuesday, with a huge suitcase, huge duffel bag, smaller tote bag, and backpack. She splurged on a cab from JFK to 95th St. ($60). The apartment almost immediately exploded, with stuff lying in every room in disarray. She showed me presents (to her, from myriad friends and associates in Japan who will miss her), and dug out clothes, vitamins, toothbrush, etc. Her last days were apparently a whirlwind, so she just threw things in every which way.
Though she was tired, she wanted a celebratory dinner, so we went to our favorite restaurant, Saigon Grill, and had whole sea bass with crunchy skin, Bun Xao noodles, and wine. Ate it all and staggered home, stopping to do a little grocery shopping. At home, I soon discovered that I had lost my coin purse (again!). Never found it. About 15 bucks, I think, but it's always a little crazy-making, makes me feel I'm disintegrating.
She didn't sleep much Tuesday night, but finished her thriller novel. Wednesday morning, we began with computers. I wanted to use her old computer to get stuff off my old Zip and Jaz drives, which no longer work with any of my computers. So we started it up, solving each problem as it came up. We tried to get her Windows laptop to work with my old printer (which recently lost its Ethernet connection and is working off a kluge-y parallel-to-USB cable). She unpacked things, and sorted through stuff in a cabinet that she left here. I made a pile of broken electronics for a recycle event next Monday.
About noon Fumiko fell asleep on the couch while channel-surfing the television. I tiptoed around her, had lunch, went for a run, took a shower, dealt with email, had dinner, etc. She woke up about 5:30 and decided to go with me to a film showing downtown. They served snacks, and Fumiko accidentally splashed red wine on my favorite comfy tan slacks -- I lost the first hour of the movie stewing about this, but eventually recovered. At home, she called Tokyo to check in with her sister, who had had an important doctor's appointment that day, and she managed to cancel some very expensive medical insurance she had bought at Narita for a year abroad -- she was apparently not aware that there is free health care in Canada! That night she slept from 12 to 5 a.m.
Though she was tired, she wanted a celebratory dinner, so we went to our favorite restaurant, Saigon Grill, and had whole sea bass with crunchy skin, Bun Xao noodles, and wine. Ate it all and staggered home, stopping to do a little grocery shopping. At home, I soon discovered that I had lost my coin purse (again!). Never found it. About 15 bucks, I think, but it's always a little crazy-making, makes me feel I'm disintegrating.
She didn't sleep much Tuesday night, but finished her thriller novel. Wednesday morning, we began with computers. I wanted to use her old computer to get stuff off my old Zip and Jaz drives, which no longer work with any of my computers. So we started it up, solving each problem as it came up. We tried to get her Windows laptop to work with my old printer (which recently lost its Ethernet connection and is working off a kluge-y parallel-to-USB cable). She unpacked things, and sorted through stuff in a cabinet that she left here. I made a pile of broken electronics for a recycle event next Monday.
About noon Fumiko fell asleep on the couch while channel-surfing the television. I tiptoed around her, had lunch, went for a run, took a shower, dealt with email, had dinner, etc. She woke up about 5:30 and decided to go with me to a film showing downtown. They served snacks, and Fumiko accidentally splashed red wine on my favorite comfy tan slacks -- I lost the first hour of the movie stewing about this, but eventually recovered. At home, she called Tokyo to check in with her sister, who had had an important doctor's appointment that day, and she managed to cancel some very expensive medical insurance she had bought at Narita for a year abroad -- she was apparently not aware that there is free health care in Canada! That night she slept from 12 to 5 a.m.
Tuesday, October 2, 2007
10/2/07: Fumiko arrives!
Fumiko is arriving today! I have cleaned the house, emtied her side of the closet, and put some rice to cook. She's just closed up her life in Tokyo, where she has been for three and a half years (since January 2004, but here for the summer of 2004). It must be hard for her to do this. She's been shipping stuff here by seamail, but still not cheap. I wonder if she remembers how much of her stuff is still here from before...
I've been avoiding doing much about the transition to Canada, waiting for her to join me here and participate in these decisions. Even fairly trivial ones, like what to throw away, is hard for me, it seems -- or perhaps I'm just using this as an excuse to avoid unpleasant stuff. Since I retired three months ago, I have done some reorganizing (new file cabinet, etc.) and throwing out. But not nearly enough. There are mountains of books, papers, clothing, household bric-a-brac to deal with.
I've been avoiding doing much about the transition to Canada, waiting for her to join me here and participate in these decisions. Even fairly trivial ones, like what to throw away, is hard for me, it seems -- or perhaps I'm just using this as an excuse to avoid unpleasant stuff. Since I retired three months ago, I have done some reorganizing (new file cabinet, etc.) and throwing out. But not nearly enough. There are mountains of books, papers, clothing, household bric-a-brac to deal with.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
